Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
