i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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