whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
