I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
