This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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