What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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