im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
