I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
