Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
