are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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