Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
