i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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