im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
