Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Randomize
