I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
