Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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