He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
