I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
