we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
