oh god the rape fog is back!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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