it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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