ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
