Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
