Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
