ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
