and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
