Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
