Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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