eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
