she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
