Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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