I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
