So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
