Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
