I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
