I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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