No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
