We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
