: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Randomize
