i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
