Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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