So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
