I'm going to jail i love you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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