That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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