He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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