Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't motorboat a personality
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
