I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
