So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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