I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
