I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
