fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
