I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
