Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
